Thank You, Facebook, for Giving Me My Life Back

A couple of days ago I sat down to my computer to harvest my chili peppers. And exterminate a rival clan of vampires. And sell my crates of cocoa powder in Cuba to finance mob activity. And lick a lot of lollipops. And... well, you get the idea.

I wasn't able to do any of this, however, because Facebook had decided that my behavior was out of line, and sent me an email saying I needed to shape up or they'd disable my account. Not that they could tell me exactly what it was they found so objectionable, of course, since no human is involved in 99.9% of their processes. Oh, and the account had already been disabled by the time I read the "warning".

Since then I've gone through the five stages of grief:

• Denial - Attempted to log in over and over and over
• Anger - Loudly announced to my husband that Facebook was run by people of below average intelligence with unnaturally close relationships with their mothers.
• Bargaining - Sent an email to Facebook asking them to reinstate my account (ok, I didn't really offer them anything, but it is a FREE service, right?).
• Depression - Attempted to log in a few more times (while unhappy).
• Acceptance - Since then, I have spent more time with my husband. And more time cleaning house. And doing dishes. And job hunting online. And working in our garden. And going to the gym. In short, having a "life".

I've discovered that having hundreds of "friends" who never call and never write isn't really such a great thing after all. And meeting some of them in person is a lot more fun.

So thank you Facebook. For cutting me off your digital smack. The withdrawal was a lot shorter than I expected.