The Pig Flu

Yesterday I woke up sounding like Lauren Bacall. And running a temperature of 101.7. And after two days in a row at the gym, and a night on my knees shining boots, I was sore and achy all over.

In short, I was sick. With flu symptoms. Which are the same as swine flu symptoms.

Thankfully, I didn't have to worry about work, since they were kind enough to lay me off on Friday. I took a good swig of NyQuil and slept. For 7 hours. When I woke up, I had the following thought:

"Where am I? Why am I wet? Am I in the pool?"

The sheets were very damp from my sweating. I would say I had been seating like a pig, but pig's don't have sweat glands and therefore don't sweat at all. I had been sweating like a horse.

I am very, very grateful to have my husband to take care of me. He mixed up a pitcher of Gatorade and brought it to me along with a tall glass and a purple bendy straw. And then every time I woke up babbling something about needing to go weed the garden on do dishes, he'd make me go back to sleep. I love him.

Of course, I don't know if it was the swine flu. I'm feeling much better today, though I'm still all sniffly and coughing "like a walrus" (according to my ex wife), so it's best if I don't go out and share it with the World.

Weren't we supposed to be all worried about BIRD flu? I figured it would be something else entirely, because nature doesn't like playing by our rules.

I hear that countries are now banning the import of pork products due to the swine flu. Thank god it wasn't the Spanish flu, because I really like Spanish movies and I'd be cross if those got banned.