Powerhaus's Cavalcade of Whimsy

Happy birthday to me!

I really enjoy my birthday, and I think I'm very blessed that it's the day AFTER Valentine's day. Because all the places I'd like to go on my birthday, restaurants, bars, whatnot, are pretty much quiet the day AFTER Valentine's Day, and everyone, single AND coupled, is breathing a collective sigh of relief. Valentine's Day is just too stressful to too many people, as are most holidays. And since Valentine's Day doesn't typically involve travelling to be with family, the collective sigh of relief is immediate.

I was unable to make it to the stores yesterday until 10pm. By then, the looting of the half-price Valentin

e's Day chocolate was nearly complete. The stuffed animals were in disarray, but still there. It's as if people get caught up in the frenzy for the chocolate, grab a little stuffed gorilla, and then think "Wait. I can't eat this. What the hell do I want this for, even if it IS half price?" and toss it back into the pile. And really, who wants a little stuffed gorilla for Valentine's Day anyway? Although I suppose it COULD remind me of a few of my favorite gay porn stars.

It's not JUST the greeting card and candy companies that push this. We push it on ourselves. Driving to work I listen to the radio, and I begin to wonder why nearly EVERY SINGLE song on the radio is about romance. Lost romance, angry breakups, longing for romance... all of the the MOST STRESSFUL parts of courtship and partner selection. I've been through all that, and now I'm settled into a positive, healthy relationship where I don't feel the need to prove anything and neither does he. "Taking each other for granted" doesn't SOUND like a good thing, but I guess if you toss in the appropriate gratitude it becomes "Knowing we can count on each other". It's not full of angst. It's not as "exciting" as when we were first dating, and I'd swing from the rafters showing off my sexual prowess in order to win his heart. The truth is I didn't have to do that to win his heart, and he didn't have to impress me to win mine. We're married. We know the punchlines to each other's jokes. We know the same punchlines to life's jokes. The world around us has become in large part one giant inside joke between us. You don't hear many songs on the radio about this, maybe "She's Always a Woman to Me" by Billy Joel. But I'm dating myself.

The best relationship is one where each of you feel inspired to become a better person, and do so. It's not about fixing each other, it's about improving yourself because you want to be the man he sees when he looks at you with love. That's a tall order. And it's not romance. It's real love, the kind that makes you work hard to be better. And they don't sing about it on the radio. Which is one reason why I listen to NPR so much of the time.