1, 2, 3, what are we donating for?

Activism is fun, especially in the San Francisco Bay Area. You get to go out in the streets or a park with a bunch of your friends, wear T-shirts with funny slogans, and try to outdo each other by making up witty signs to carry. And we're all MAD AS HELL about... well, whatever it is. I get the impression that sometimes, exactly what you're protesting isn't as important as how much fun you have protesting.

The current Holy Cause in the gay universe in California is, of course, gay marriage. As a man who is both gay AND married to another gay man, I strongly support gay marriage. I cleverly scheduled my wedding to be BEFORE the Nov 2008 election, because I have trouble trusting other people when it comes to things that are none of their business. And once again, my low expectations of others were confirmed.

I did not go protest. I had to work. Some of my friends attacked me for "not supporting the cause", and one had the gaul to ask "What have YOU done for gay marriage?"

I said "I got married. Exercising rights when you have them is more important than bitching about not having them."

Anyway, ever since the election, gay people everywhere are acting like we're being herded into cattle cars and taken off to death happy fun camps. AND, they're donating money left and right.

Ever since AIDS, us homosexuals have created our own form of government. Not the political type (primarially), but the "collect money and provide services" type. Since Regan was happy to ignore what was happening to our people, we took matters into our own hands. Today, every event is a fundraiser it seems, and a lot of the services we originally provided to those dying with AIDS now help a broad range of people in need.

We're like the Kurds. Just stop bombing us for a few years and we'll set up a functioning government. That's awesome!

Unfortunately, not every organization asking for money for gay causes is as honest and well-run as Project Open Hand. And we don't usually bother to ask questions before we reach for our wallets.

I went to the NO H8 campaign photoshoot at the W hotel a couple weeks ago. They were asking for a $25 "donation" to get your picture taken and posted on their web site. I was laid off in April, and my husband's pay day was 2 days away, and unfortunately we were broke that day. Bad planning on our part, I confess, but we went down to participate anyway, figuring that as a married gay couple we might have some PR value. And it IS a PR campaign, after all. Right?

Well, not exactly. It's a PR campaign for the organizers, not for gay rights. Without the cash, we were NOT allowed to participate. I was shocked, and embarrassed, and then I began to wonder what the $25 was being spent on.

The organizers are two young gay men from LA, one's a photographer and one, well, used to be in culinary school. They've managed to generate a lot of income and publicity for themselves with this "campaign". And they've gotten celebrities involved. It's an LA Cinderella Story. But I live in San Francisco, I don't think Ashlee Simpson knows the first things about my marriage, and I think these guys are crooks.

In short, it's all going right into the pockets of the organizers. Their "spokesman" on Facebook (a friend of "the boys") said that "the boys" had put a lot of their own money and time into the campaign and were trying to recoup their losses. I asked him how much a hall at the W hotel cost. No answer. The Gay and Lesbian Community Center would have been much less expensive, after all.

Charity Watch doesn't even list NOH8. NOH8's web site claims that they are applying for tax-exempt status, but I think what they mean is they filled out a form, because actually getting tax-exempt status would require them to list their expenses.

Even "legitimate" organizations fighting for gay marriage, like EQCA (Equality California) don't even qualify. Human Rights Campaign is listed by the American Institute of Philanthropy (http://www.charitywatch.org), but HRC has not sent in the paperwork that the AIP requests in order to rate how well their donations are spent.

Let's not forget how we got screwed over by Team Pallotta in the 90's. A for-profit company set up bike rides to raise money for AIDS and Cancer research, and then spent the majority of it on things like a swanky new office building and other "non-target" expenses. The SF AIDS Foundation began the AIDS Lifecycle to put a stop to their milking the gay community for their own gain.

http://www.pallottateamworks.com/

Bottom line: We've gotten so used to donating to "good causes", that we're donating to a lot of things without even asking the right questions. And there are a lot of people taking advantage of that.

ASK how your money will be spent. Find out who's in charge. Hold them accountable.

Just because you're mad doesn't mean you should be an easy target for someone trying to make a buck.