The Pig Flu

Yesterday I woke up sounding like Lauren Bacall. And running a temperature of 101.7. And after two days in a row at the gym, and a night on my knees shining boots, I was sore and achy all over.

In short, I was sick. With flu symptoms. Which are the same as swine flu symptoms.

Thankfully, I didn't have to worry about work, since they were kind enough to lay me off on Friday. I took a good swig of NyQuil and slept. For 7 hours. When I woke up, I had the following thought:

"Where am I? Why am I wet? Am I in the pool?"

The sheets were very damp from my sweating. I would say I had been seating like a pig, but pig's don't have sweat glands and therefore don't sweat at all. I had been sweating like a horse.

I am very, very grateful to have my husband to take care of me. He mixed up a pitcher of Gatorade and brought it to me along with a tall glass and a purple bendy straw. And then every time I woke up babbling something about needing to go weed the garden on do dishes, he'd make me go back to sleep. I love him.

Of course, I don't know if it was the swine flu. I'm feeling much better today, though I'm still all sniffly and coughing "like a walrus" (according to my ex wife), so it's best if I don't go out and share it with the World.

Weren't we supposed to be all worried about BIRD flu? I figured it would be something else entirely, because nature doesn't like playing by our rules.

I hear that countries are now banning the import of pork products due to the swine flu. Thank god it wasn't the Spanish flu, because I really like Spanish movies and I'd be cross if those got banned.

Gainfully Unemployed

So, Friday my boss calls me up and says "We're going to do this call a little differently today. I want you to go up to room xyz on the 8th floor and we'll include our friendly HR lady in this call."

I may be a lot of things, but stupid is not among them.

Thankfully, the HR lady turned out to be the one and only HR person who's ever really gone to bat for me. When I was recovering from my stroke back in 2006, the insurance company wouldn't accept "He can't walk, he can't talk clearly, he can't button a shirt or sign his name" as a disability. So she got creative and made something up that they WOULD accept: Depression.

(No, I really don't understand the insurance company's reasoning either, but thank god I had her on my side, and she was willing to go the extra mile to make sure I didn't spend the rest of my life living with my parents.)

Not that she was able to jump in and save my job, and not that I wanted that job anymore, but at least I got to do my "exit interview" with someone who knew me and who I trusted. HR people get dumped on all the time, and I think having someone she had to fire praise her and thank her was a bit surreal. But corporate America is that kind of place, surreal.

For the second time in my life, I got laid off at 11am and I had a therapy appointment at 4pm the same day. Since all my benefits vanished at the end of the day, the timing was great. My therapist said I seemed to be taking the layoff awfully well, even considering that my job was driving me crazy and was the most dysfunctional part of my life. I told him that I was a little surprised too, but instead of having mixed feelings like I thought I would, all I felt was a huge sense of relief. That, and "All I have to fall back on is my marriage now... and that's amazingly good!"

Daddy was pretty blue when I told him the news, and yesterday (Saturday) morning he was still pretty glum. But we went into San Francisco to work out at my favorite gym, and afterwards we did a little shopping at Stompers. And Mr. S. And Leather Etc. Let me tell you, retail therapy WORKS. I'm not sure if it was his finding the perfect leather jacket at half the price he expected to pay (it makes his shoulders look wide as a barn door, without looking like Alexis on Dynasty), or walking around in the sunlight, or what, but he was in a great mood by last night.

So, of course, I need to find a new job now. But I also have enough savings and severence that I don't have to panic, and maybe I can even find something that'll make use of my skills and help me feel like I did back in college. My last job made me feel like I was in a dentist's chair being asked, over and over, "Is it safe?"

I love Scott Peters

Definitely my favorite porn star. Not because he's huge (though it helps), but because of his eyes when he smiles. He's like a Master Archetype of the nice big brother.

What WOULD Jesus do?

Probably flip out, knock your table over, braid a whip, and beat your cracker ass!

Mark 11:15-19

I am so pissed at myself... I went to the farmer's market this morning, and I got the cute Apple Guy to post for a photo. But apparently if you're in a hurry, and you don't hit "SAVE" after you take a picture, but just close your phone and go, it doesn't keep it. Dammit!

So my friends, it looks like I'll be going back NEXT Saturday for MORE apples I don't really need. But I promise you I'll get a photo. I'll even take the digital camera instead of just using my crappy cell phone.

But, my own lack of skill with my cell phone aside, it's shaping up to be a GREAT weekend. We had a house party last night, officially a baby shower for my next door neighbor who's due ANY SECOND NOW. But she was too tired to come over, so we watched Kiss Me Guido and ate lasagna.

Then we had Joseph Shmitt truffles. This is significant because last we had heard, Hershey Corporation had purchased Joseph Shmitt, and then were shocked to discover that it just wasn't a good fit for them and are shutting it down. Monday. Yes, Monday, April 13. As in the day after tomorrow. So mark up another point for Big Evil Corporate America. (Hissssssss)

We're also hosting Easter dinner tomorrow, and I'm discovering that you can take the boy out of San Francisco... no wait, you can't. So far the top excuse is "I REALLY want to come, but the busses aren't running on Easter Sunday." Right. What. Ever. Mary.

Is this random enough yet? ANd by the way, HELLO! Good to be back!

Powerhaus