Old Age Is Not for Sissies. Neither is Parenthood.
Since the start of March, I have had two surgeries on my back, and Mark has had SEVEN vertebrae worked on. So we've been doing a lot of lying around "resting" (taking pain medication and sleeping), and slowly increasing our activity level as we're able. I've concluded that retirement is Purgatory unless you have some good hobbies. Personally, I have decided to keep working as long as I'm able, because otherwise there's a real danger of being BORED. TO. DEATH.
Now when I meet with friends over a drink, all we talk about is our aliments and medications. When I was in my 20's I defined "old" as when you talk less about sex than you do about your aches and pains, treatments, etc. So I am now officially old by the definition of that smug little bastard I was in my 20's. Although Testosterone therapy helps, but that's talking about my medication again.
For a few days there after I started back at work I was waking up in more pain than the day before. It apparently was my muscles, which were weak from lying around so long, spasming with the return to normal activity. I'm happy to say I am not feeling BETTER, not worse, each morning and so I think there's a chance my fantasy of going back to the gym and walking around high on "lack of pain" could come true.
Today is also my older daughter's 21st birthday. I am SO proud of her, she's got her life together, has a plan for her education, professional, and social life (she's engaged), and is executing that plan successfully. I'm feeling a primal desire for a grandchild. I swear, I never thought I'd be like this, but when my daughter hit about 17, the urge started to grow. I talked to my mother about this before she died, and she confirmed that she felt exactly the same way when my brother and I hit that age.
I'd like to be a grandfather when I'm 45. If all goes to plan, that's entirely possible. I'm 43 now, she's going to get married next Valentine's Day, and then... well, she was born 9 months and 1 week after my wedding, and I was 21 years old.
Amazing to me how a couple of 22 year olds can pull it all together and be good parents, on top of working and going to school. So many 22 year olds I know don't know their ass from their elbow, but there's a certain "this shit just got REAL" about having a child that makes you stop worrying about yourself, and makes you get your priorities in line.
So, I may be middle-aged and not getting any younger, but at least the great Circle of Life is turning. I suppose in caveman days, seeing your healthy grandchild was a sign that the tribe was succeeding, and therefore there might actually BE an evolutionary desire to pressure your children to breed. I know if my Mom were still alive, she'd be quietly yearning for a great-grandchild, and spend a lot of energy keeping her mouth shut.
I called my daughter to wish her a happy birthday, and I blurted out "Now give me a grandchild!"
Thankfully she has a sense of humor, and her response was "Well, I'm going on a date tonight in a slinky dress, so who knows?"
I replied, "I don't care as long as it's healthy!" and we both had a good laugh.
So, here's to those who have kids "too young". It's terrifying, you think you have NO idea what you're doing but you do your best. People who have kids in middle age are more educated and they THINK they're prepared, but I don't think I'd have the energy to keep up with a toddler at my age. That's why I want to be a grandparent at 45, and not a parent. You can spoil them rotten, and hand them back when their diaper need changing.
Now when I meet with friends over a drink, all we talk about is our aliments and medications. When I was in my 20's I defined "old" as when you talk less about sex than you do about your aches and pains, treatments, etc. So I am now officially old by the definition of that smug little bastard I was in my 20's. Although Testosterone therapy helps, but that's talking about my medication again.
For a few days there after I started back at work I was waking up in more pain than the day before. It apparently was my muscles, which were weak from lying around so long, spasming with the return to normal activity. I'm happy to say I am not feeling BETTER, not worse, each morning and so I think there's a chance my fantasy of going back to the gym and walking around high on "lack of pain" could come true.
Today is also my older daughter's 21st birthday. I am SO proud of her, she's got her life together, has a plan for her education, professional, and social life (she's engaged), and is executing that plan successfully. I'm feeling a primal desire for a grandchild. I swear, I never thought I'd be like this, but when my daughter hit about 17, the urge started to grow. I talked to my mother about this before she died, and she confirmed that she felt exactly the same way when my brother and I hit that age.
I'd like to be a grandfather when I'm 45. If all goes to plan, that's entirely possible. I'm 43 now, she's going to get married next Valentine's Day, and then... well, she was born 9 months and 1 week after my wedding, and I was 21 years old.
Amazing to me how a couple of 22 year olds can pull it all together and be good parents, on top of working and going to school. So many 22 year olds I know don't know their ass from their elbow, but there's a certain "this shit just got REAL" about having a child that makes you stop worrying about yourself, and makes you get your priorities in line.
So, I may be middle-aged and not getting any younger, but at least the great Circle of Life is turning. I suppose in caveman days, seeing your healthy grandchild was a sign that the tribe was succeeding, and therefore there might actually BE an evolutionary desire to pressure your children to breed. I know if my Mom were still alive, she'd be quietly yearning for a great-grandchild, and spend a lot of energy keeping her mouth shut.
I called my daughter to wish her a happy birthday, and I blurted out "Now give me a grandchild!"
Thankfully she has a sense of humor, and her response was "Well, I'm going on a date tonight in a slinky dress, so who knows?"
I replied, "I don't care as long as it's healthy!" and we both had a good laugh.
So, here's to those who have kids "too young". It's terrifying, you think you have NO idea what you're doing but you do your best. People who have kids in middle age are more educated and they THINK they're prepared, but I don't think I'd have the energy to keep up with a toddler at my age. That's why I want to be a grandparent at 45, and not a parent. You can spoil them rotten, and hand them back when their diaper need changing.
