That's one of the questions you have to be able to answer "yes" to to get into Mormon heaven.
Honesty is one of my best virtues. First of all, my memory is so spotty that I can't keep up with more than one version of the stories I tell. Secondly, I have a difficult time knowing when someone is lying to me. And when I DO know that they're lying to me, I don't know how to respond. So for me, living in a world where everyone was honest, including me, sounds GREAT.
I had a job interview yesterday. I should have realized that you're never supposed to say anything negative in an interview, but when he asked "And how did you like Big Evil Corporation?" (note, names have been changed to protect the guilty.)
I can't recall exactly what I said, but apparently my loathing for Big Evil Corporation is so intense that it can be felt by non-empaths at least 4 feet away. I THINK I said something like "I learned that I'm not really best suited for large companies, it was a challenging time for me." Apparently what he heard was "bitch moan bitch moan Big Evil Corporation is HELL!" which are my actual feelings about the topic.
It looked bad, but I have a follow-up interview tomorrow morning, so I guess my other qualifications were good enough.
So. What do you say to someone who doesn't want to hear the truth?
"I am a politician"?
Wednesday, January 27, 2010
Tuesday, January 26, 2010
I'm back
It's been ages since I posted anything, mostly I've been looking unsuccessfully for work, battling some middle-aged-men health issues (both me and Sir have back problems), switching from my private insurance company to Keiser... well, lots of stuff really. None of it that interesting.
Last week I took the GRE. For some reason, I've been avoiding taking it for the last 15 years or so, but I decided that if there were no jobs for me, then I better think about graduate school. For three weeks, I put off studying for it. I'm really good at avoiding doing things I don't really want to.
I went in, I took the test. I left an hour and a half early. I scored so high that I'm not even going to post my scores, because it would be rude. Suffice it to say, that the last 15 years of "hard living", including a near death experience and massive damage to my nervous system, I am still incredibly gifted at taking standardized tests. And I am smart, smarter than I realized, and smarter than I have felt for a long, long time. It restored my faith in myself.
One observation: When you're 17 years old and taking the SAT, and the word "zojifenhfgskehjpgfj" comes up, you think "Oh man, I don't know that word. I must be stupid!"
When you're 40 and the same word comes up on the GRE, you think "What kind of numbskull made up THIS question? Honestly, the only reason to use a word like that that NO ONE knows is to try and make yourself look smart, and if you're THAT insecure who'd invite you to a cocktail party anyway??" I suppose age does grant a certain confidence.
I had a job interview this morning. It's been a long time since I had one, and this time I had a game plan: Look nice. Smile. Make direct eye contact. Do NOT interrupt the interviewer. In fact, talk as little as possible. Interviewers will babble on for 90% of the allotted time if you let them, and that means you've reduced you chances of saying something stupid by 90%. I DID ask certain questions, like "how many pages do you want me to write?"; Where do I get information from?; Who is supposed to read this when I'm done? All very important questions, because often the honest answers are "I don't know", "Here's some straw to work with", and "Make gold or the King will kill you."
Now, my eldest child is about to turn 18, and I imagine that she'd make short work of any old troll I tried to sell her to. So it is very important to ask these questions ahead of time, because it's very sad when people are upset with you for failing to achieve the impossible.
Anyway, it's clearly time for a career change for me, since documentation has dropped completely off the list of most companies' priorities, and because I'm getting jaded and cynical about facing the same unsolvable problems over and over and over again.
One benefit of my unemployment is I have more time to spend at the gym. It seems like everyone who sees me now says "You look good!" Yes, we sodomites are a profoundly superficial lot, and I guess it's only fair that I should have to put up with people staring at my chest instead of my face when I'm talking to them, considering that women have been putting up with it since Caveman times. I now have GREAT empathy for these women. But still, I have to wonder... how exactly did I look before?
What else. Oh yes. Excuses. I spent what I consider to be an entirely excessive amount to get several prints and photos matted and framed recently, I went to a locally owned and run independent art shop that was recommended by a friend who is a professional portrait photographer. A couple of them came back not looking right, the mat colors we'd selected with the guidance of one of their staff were just wrong. So I took them back and asked for them to be re-matted, and we chose better colors. They said it would be back in less than two weeks and that they would call us when they were ready. That was a month ago.
I went over to the shop on Saturday, but they'd already closed by the time I got there. So I called and left a very descriptive voice mail about my displeasure at the situation. Two days later, I got a voice mail saying that the prints would be ready on Friday, and that they didn't have our phone number.
Ok, wait a minute. The didn't have our phone number, so they couldn't call us. But they had my address and credit card information. But why would they need to call us anyway since the prints hadn't even been sent out yet? Because clearly, they sat on the re-mats for a month until they got my angry voice mail message. The voice mail also said "I know this looks like poor customer service." Excuse me? It doesn't "look like" poor customer service. It IS poor customer service!
What is the reason that people can't just say "Oh crap, I screwed up, I am so sorry, I'll fix it right away"? Is this something about lawsuits and never admitting you're wrong so it can't be used against you in court?
The world is an asylum. And the madmen are running it.
Last week I took the GRE. For some reason, I've been avoiding taking it for the last 15 years or so, but I decided that if there were no jobs for me, then I better think about graduate school. For three weeks, I put off studying for it. I'm really good at avoiding doing things I don't really want to.
I went in, I took the test. I left an hour and a half early. I scored so high that I'm not even going to post my scores, because it would be rude. Suffice it to say, that the last 15 years of "hard living", including a near death experience and massive damage to my nervous system, I am still incredibly gifted at taking standardized tests. And I am smart, smarter than I realized, and smarter than I have felt for a long, long time. It restored my faith in myself.
One observation: When you're 17 years old and taking the SAT, and the word "zojifenhfgskehjpgfj" comes up, you think "Oh man, I don't know that word. I must be stupid!"
When you're 40 and the same word comes up on the GRE, you think "What kind of numbskull made up THIS question? Honestly, the only reason to use a word like that that NO ONE knows is to try and make yourself look smart, and if you're THAT insecure who'd invite you to a cocktail party anyway??" I suppose age does grant a certain confidence.
I had a job interview this morning. It's been a long time since I had one, and this time I had a game plan: Look nice. Smile. Make direct eye contact. Do NOT interrupt the interviewer. In fact, talk as little as possible. Interviewers will babble on for 90% of the allotted time if you let them, and that means you've reduced you chances of saying something stupid by 90%. I DID ask certain questions, like "how many pages do you want me to write?"; Where do I get information from?; Who is supposed to read this when I'm done? All very important questions, because often the honest answers are "I don't know", "Here's some straw to work with", and "Make gold or the King will kill you."
Now, my eldest child is about to turn 18, and I imagine that she'd make short work of any old troll I tried to sell her to. So it is very important to ask these questions ahead of time, because it's very sad when people are upset with you for failing to achieve the impossible.
Anyway, it's clearly time for a career change for me, since documentation has dropped completely off the list of most companies' priorities, and because I'm getting jaded and cynical about facing the same unsolvable problems over and over and over again.
One benefit of my unemployment is I have more time to spend at the gym. It seems like everyone who sees me now says "You look good!" Yes, we sodomites are a profoundly superficial lot, and I guess it's only fair that I should have to put up with people staring at my chest instead of my face when I'm talking to them, considering that women have been putting up with it since Caveman times. I now have GREAT empathy for these women. But still, I have to wonder... how exactly did I look before?
What else. Oh yes. Excuses. I spent what I consider to be an entirely excessive amount to get several prints and photos matted and framed recently, I went to a locally owned and run independent art shop that was recommended by a friend who is a professional portrait photographer. A couple of them came back not looking right, the mat colors we'd selected with the guidance of one of their staff were just wrong. So I took them back and asked for them to be re-matted, and we chose better colors. They said it would be back in less than two weeks and that they would call us when they were ready. That was a month ago.
I went over to the shop on Saturday, but they'd already closed by the time I got there. So I called and left a very descriptive voice mail about my displeasure at the situation. Two days later, I got a voice mail saying that the prints would be ready on Friday, and that they didn't have our phone number.
Ok, wait a minute. The didn't have our phone number, so they couldn't call us. But they had my address and credit card information. But why would they need to call us anyway since the prints hadn't even been sent out yet? Because clearly, they sat on the re-mats for a month until they got my angry voice mail message. The voice mail also said "I know this looks like poor customer service." Excuse me? It doesn't "look like" poor customer service. It IS poor customer service!
What is the reason that people can't just say "Oh crap, I screwed up, I am so sorry, I'll fix it right away"? Is this something about lawsuits and never admitting you're wrong so it can't be used against you in court?
The world is an asylum. And the madmen are running it.
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